Six yards of sheer magic.
Yes,the saree is six yards of sheer magic.The only unstitched fabric in the world which is so popular.It can be draped the way your mood dictates. it can be flirtatious,sexy,sensual.pious,authoritative,bored,warm,happy and many more myrid moods could be covered.You can drape it to cover your flaes or highlight your curves.It could be used as a rag cloth,apron or a dress.The pallu could act as a napkin,dishcloth or kerchief to wipe tears and nose.It can envelope the child in your lap.The warmth of my mothers lap wrapped in her pallu was heaven. The masala smell from her saree and the softness of her tummy still lingers in me.The sense of security and love my mom's saree offered nothing else has.
A flapping of the floral printed georgette saree was enough to make boys miss their heartbeats when I was in college.A slight slip of the pallu was enough to excite my spouse. I could literally tie him to my pallu.The saree was a boon to feed children in public. Nothing seen but work done.A starched cotton saree spelt that I do not tolerate nonsense,in the workplace.In many a meetings the printed silk saree made people sit up and listen to me. A beautiful kannjeevaram made other women jealous and men glance a second time.Many heights can be scaled, many things can be achieved all because of a six yards of magic the SAREE.

Crystal stair

Life for us hasn’t been a crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

We have been climbing on,

And reaching landings,

And turning corners,

And sometimes going in the dark

Where there has been no light.

So son, don’t turn back.

Don’t set down on the steps

Because you will find it’s hard.

For I am still going,

I am still climbing’,

And life for us hasn’t been a crystal stair.

                                                   

                                                                   Alone and lonely.


The two dreaded words, alone and lonely. Both have one word in common LONE. Lone is single.A person can be alone but still be happy. A person can be in a group but still be lonely. Being in a group and being lonely is the worst that can happen. Even if alone a person can enjoy the solitude. It could be a time for introspection, it could be a time for rejuvenation. Time to discover oneself. Enjoy the state of being alone forced or otherwise but never slip into loneliness. Loneliness is disastrous.
 

Setting sun

When distances become unfathomable

When time has pulled us apart

Your letters are the only solace

The letters have faded

Like the grey that would have softened your jet black hair

The faint lingering smell of perfume reminds me

Of your masculine scent.

The pauses in the sentences bring back the caress

Your hand must have given the words .

I can feel the emotions burst

From the press of your pen.

My clouded eyes mist my wrinkled hands caress the words

Where the setting sun kisses with his orange rays

Is it you ? through the sun rays.

--------------Vineeta.

 Sunset years

You came like a whiff of sweet smelling flowers with

The pink rays of a young sun

Sun beams lit up my eyes and life was

a galore of glorious sun washed days.

You promised to walk with me

Through the sun set years

Harsh clouds took you away

How can I sum up your life in one poem?

When you did not live the full life.

Sunshine became a ball of fire

Sunburnt ,beaten but still strong

 I walk into the sunset years alone

The setting sun beckons me

With the hope I may find you beyond the setting sun

Will you meet me there?

-------------Vineeta

Face book and Katta gossip

In olden days when chawls were dominant, there would be a tulsi katta in the back yard. There would be a well, a couple of stone slabs for washing clothes and a boat shaped stone tank. The platform around the tulsi vrindavan could seat at least 10 to 15 people. The tulsi katta was the prime location where women shared their joys and sorrows. Pregnancies would be declared there (self or others). Complaints against in-laws would be filed in whispers amidst sobs. Recipes would be exchanged. Old women would comb the youngsters’ hair and plait them in different styles while waxing eloquently on their hay hair days. Stories of whom it attracted were told with blushes. Hurried mornings or lazy afternoons or cool evenings or a stolen kiss night the tulsi katta was an essential part of life.

Apartments have replaced chawls, washing machines stone slabs and taps have replaced wells. I was missing my katta and the fun till my children introduced me to FACE BOOK. It was heaven sent. All my long lost friends can be found. My co-sisters who reside in different countries, I am linked to them through face book. Face book is a vibrant place for all my gossip. A virtual platform, for a stone platform, worth it. My co sis sent the photo graph of her besan laddus seeking compliments, gleefully another one commented ‘ you have fried too much, it should be a nice golden yellow. See mine ‘ and she posted her laddu photos. My mother-in-law dismissed the second lot of laddus as under fried. How else would my knowledge of laddus increase without face book?. Newly married nieces moan ‘ maushi, my dosas stuck to the pan Ravi (her husband) shouted at me’ , ‘add rice flour ‘ was my instant advice at no cost. Face book helps me keep track of who buys what. I get to see them virtually. Gossip about who has put on weight, express doubt on an expanding stomach, till she sheds it by exercise and puts my curiosity to rest. All in all I am an ardent fan of face book jai ho!!

Menopause musings
Many articles discussed at length the problems faced when menopause set in. Advice pours in from all quarters old aunts, well read nieces, fresh – out – of – medical school nephews, trying –to- understand husband,… the list is endless. Secretly I like all the attention showered on me for something I am happy to be rid of. A new found dry freedom is mine. No more worrying about dates. Any religious function my mother-in-law would look at me “is it convenient? “Implying I check my period dates. It would be nowhere near it when I confirmed the dates, but it would promptly arrive on the day of the puja. People would glare at me and grumble “can’t she check… she wants to avoid work”. How could they know that my periods had an uncanny habit of arriving at all wrong times. I t had arrived during my honeymoon too!!! I was afraid my husband would head towards a divorce. Well!! His reactions and behavior was no less. I defended my body system by saying thank god it did not appear on the day of the wedding. That would be a public disaster.
I am free from the pain of checking and rechecking my back for possible stains. Taking a lecture during those wet days was a pain. I always felt when I turned my back to the students’ to face the board, the students spotted something. I kept covering my back with my pallu just in case …
Trips and picnics were always coupled with the fear of periods and loads of sanitary napkins. My worst night mare would be ending in some remote place where sanitary napkins were not available. Would I end in a pool of blood ???.
Now all that is history I can have a clean, dry and free of fear days. I treated myself to a couple of light colored breezy saris. All the dark colored might have stained saris were donated to the maid. It was a win win situation.

The evolution of a working woman

The image of a working woman conjures up a picture of a confident, well dressed, perfume sprayed, and vanity bag swinging female. She is often viewed with a mixture of awe and contempt. Awe at her achievements and contempt because it is assumed that she is neglecting her family to boost her ego.

Let us examine the reasons that prompted woman to step out. In the earlier days the roles of men and women were predefined. The man was the bread winner and the woman kept house and cared for the children, elders and guests. The balance worked fine since the source of income was common. The joint family was the only way of life. Joint family incomes forced the families to stay together. The joint family system took care of elders, orphans and destitute women without burdening anybody.

As the joint incomes started dwindling the common source of income was not sufficient to look after the families. People started moving out of the secure environs of the joint family and started looking for other sources of income. That was when the nuclear families started. The nuclear family discovered that the new system gave them a new sense of freedom. A freedom which was to lead to a lot of social changes.

The nuclear family brought newer responsibilities along with the freedom. As the saying goes every advantage is accompanied with a disadvantage. The things that were taken for granted started to appear as chores to be completed. For example children never bothered the father in the joint family system. The nuclear family left no option for the children but to pester the father for their needs.

The joint family consisted of a set of male members, female members and children. The nuclear family translated to a man, woman and child. The joint income was sufficient to keep the entire family well fed and clothed. For a nuclear family the economics did not work out in the same way. The urban exposure brought with it the need to spend more under the guise of a raised standard of living.

The need for added income forced the woman of the house out to work and supplement the family income. With the security of the joint family missing, women turned to jobs for security. Eventualities and unforeseen circumstances forced a woman to look at a job as a security net.

With the woman working the balance of the male, female roles went awry. The woman accepted the role of a working parent but the major brunt of looking after the family still fell on her. The male counter part still has some inhibitions in sharing the responsibility of raising a family. With her responsibilities doubled the working woman has to juggle between a high pressure job and a family. She tries her level best to offer her best to both family and job, which leaves her with a guilt feeling of not doing proper justice to both family and job.

Working for economic reasons was the starting point of a working woman. Economic independence brought a sense of freedom and confidence to a woman. This set her to examine herself. She found that she had a potential to do greater things and compete with men and many times do better than a man. This prompted her to look at a job not as a means to earn a livelihood but also as an arena where she could show her excellence. With this the corporate woman was born.

The corporate woman had her goals fixed. She knew where she was heading. She opted out of raising a family, in most cases and concentrated on her career. She has to be doubly efficient compared to a man to climb the corporate ladder.

The life of a woman when examined in the three stages of evolution gives out some interesting points. In the joint family she did not have much say in family matters but the responsibilities also were less. She had a secure life. With a working woman for economic reasons, she had a greater say in family matters but her responsibilities also increased. The corporate woman has full freedom without the responsibilities of a family but definitely she misses a family. It is for the woman to decide the trade off between responsibities and freedom of expression.